Chapter 7
Mrs. Heald Senior sent more photos. Some of them laughing and chatting happily, and one captured Mary tearfully leaning into Isaac’s comforting embrace.
That gentle look on Isaac’s face–how many times had I seen it aimed at me?
He was still wearing the bracelet I’d given him in the pictures, yet he lied about needing to attend to urgent business matters.
If that were true, why did he say those heart–stirring words before leaving, making me want to stay?
A sudden wave of nausea overwhelmed me. I hurried to the bathroom and retched, but nothing came up.
“I’ve booked you a flight to Norway. I’ll take care of you and your child, but I hope you can understand a mother’s heart.
“After all, even if you stay, you won’t win Isaac’s heart.”
Reading Mrs. Heald’s thinly veiled threats, I chuckled. Why should I leave?
I hadn’t wronged Isaac. Besides, this was always a mere arrangement. My heart was already shattered beyond repair.
I wouldn’t leave–but as for the child…
The baby was still so small. I decided to have an abortion.
It was a responsible choice for both myself and the child.
11
Chapter 7
I didn’t want him to carry the label of being illegitimate. After that decision, I cut off contact with everyone.
Instead, I went straight ahead and scheduled an abortion.
Isaac had bombarded me with countless texts asking where I was and what I was doing. He had also called countless times.
But I was just too exhausted.
Ever since my parents passed away during my college years, I hadn’t experienced love again.
I once believed that my genuine devotion would win Owen’s affection, but it ended with his cold cruelty and unfaithfulness.
Later, I thought Isaac might have real feelings for me, but I realized I had overestimated myself.
The consequences of this failed relationship were too severe–it cost me a child and took a toll on my physical and mental well–being.
After the pregnancy test, I received even more devastating news.
The doctor informed me that I wasn’t pregnant after all.
It had been a misdiagnosis. They kept apologizing, but I couldn’t hear them.
I felt dizzy, as if my mind wasn’t my own, or like I was an empty shell, devoid of soul and thought.
I was unsure whether to be happy or sad, as if my emotions had been stripped away.
This news severed the last link I had with Isaac.
Chapter
Maybe it was destiny–we had come together because of the baby, and now that it was gone.
It seemed natural for us to go our separate ways.
Despite Isaac’s constant calls and messages, which seemed panicked, I didn’t want any connection with him anymore, so I just turned off my phone.
I went to see Sarah, feeling the urge to cry but unable to shed a single tear. I simply told her I wanted to travel abroad.
Isaac was quick to gather information. No sooner had I booked my flight to Paris than he called Sarah, only to receive an angry reprimand from her.
I didn’t return home to pick up anything, but I did take the card Isaac had used to send me money.
I saw it as a transaction, something I had earned. With that money, I could start anew and learn to be on my own.
I suddenly realized I had never truly been independent. I always relied on someone to be my emotional support, as if there was a void in my life without them.
Now, I came to understand what I had never dared or wanted to admit. I had always been alone.
It took facing many harsh and brutal truths to make me accept it. I was, and had always been, truly alone.
My soul had felt lonely, but it wouldn’t stay that way. I would strive to make it full and rich, leaving behind my obsession with love.
